Tonight I did a thing I didn’t think I would ever do – I went to a movie alone.
I really wanted to see the new Everest movie as soon as I saw a trailer for it, but I knew that no one would probably want to go with me.
I didn’t ask anyone to go with me, I just assumed no one would want to, no one out of the increasingly dwindling list of “friends” that I have in my life, so after work tonight I bought a ticket to the late show and went alone.
I felt so weird about it. It felt, at first, so strange and so sad.
But the girl who scanned my ticket didn’t blink an eye and the boy who sold me a small popcorn just told me enjoy the show and didn’t seem to think twice about me being alone.. and then when I went into the theatre there were only six other people there – two couples, and two solos.
Two solos. Plus me.
THERE WERE MORE OF US THAN THERE WERE OF THEM.
So I felt better. A lot better. A lot like, why the hell have I not done this years ago? Because I’ve missed out on a whole lot of movies I’ve wanted to see because I couldn’t wait or didn’t want to wait to try to find someone to go with.
So I know something about myself now.
Doing things alone is okay. It’s something I can do, it’s something I am even comfortable doing.
This is another thing to cross off my life list once I put that back online.
I’m weirdly proud of myself for being able to handle being alone so well.
Proud, and scared.