I’m Writing a Book
I feel like I have finally hit my stride with this story while at the same time I have arrived at a pivitol point where I need to make some serious decisions about where a certain plot line is headed. Once I clear that one relatively important hurdle, it should be smooth sailing not just to 50,000 words, but past it. I know that if I finish this book, not just finish the challenge, I’ll have much more than 50,000 words on my hands.
To anyone who is doing NaNoWriMo this year, I hope it going as well for you as it is for me.
It’s totally consuming me this year, which is exactly the way it should be if I want to write every day and get this done. I’m okay with the fact that I’m totally failing at that other monthly goal I crazily set for myself right before the 1st – I’ve only participated in a single yeah write challenge even though I said I would do it every week.
Well. I guess sometimes we fail at things, sometimes just so we can have a better chance at succeeding at others.
If it means I get a novel instead of a few blog challenge posts, no offense yeah write! I’ll take it, and I think you will totally understand 😉
Today marks the halfway point of NaNoWriMo 2015 and after a week of lagging behind and procrastinating and doing all the other things I could possibly do with my free time EXCEPT write, I knew that I had to either get down to business today or maybe consider giving up.
I started the day with 20,629 words, and I had a LOT to do today.
I had to sleep a little late, shower, do laundry, do some dog sitting, buy some headphones, have dinner with mom, space out to music on the kick ass new headphones, and write.
And try to convince my almost ten year old daughter that it would be in her best interest to behave and just in general be nice to me and knock it off with the pre-teen dramatic attitude. UGH.
So I wrote. And wrote.
And then I wrote some more.
Then I met my goal – I crossed the halfway mark.
Here are my thoughts on this progress:
My story isn’t great. I mean, it’s a story. It has characters who do things to drive the plot along. I am pantsing it, as I do, so although I have a general idea of where I want this story to go, all the details are to be determined.
This is what I am always afraid of, in almost any situation in life.
The not knowing.
Uncertainty and doubt are serious killers of confidence and creativity, so today I just wrote like a motherfucker, and I churned out almost 5,000 words.
I killed it.
It was easy.
I just told myself “Cheney, go write now. Write right now!”
And I did it.
It was that hard.
Midnight may be coming in a few minutes, but later I’ll strap on these new headphones and write more anyway, because I’m feeling it today, the magic is here with me today.
I hope if you’re doing NaNoWriMo, you’re making some magic, too.
And on the eighth day, she gave an update:
NaNoWriMo 2015! It’s here! It’s happening! And I am doing so well so far.
As of this morning I have written 14,358 words. That puts me 2,692 words ahead of where I should have been by yesterday. This is a very, very good thing – to be consistently ahead of the target word count every day so far this month.
So the writing, the writing itself? It’s going great.
The story? That’s another story.
I like what I am writing, but as I am writing it I know that a lot of it doesn’t work and makes no sense, and if this story is every going to become anything more than another file saved on my computer, it is going to have to be rewritten from the very beginning with very different things going on.
I am not doing the things that I feel are necessary to write a good story at the moment – I am not worrying about character building or beautiful prose or even making sense sometimes. I’m just worried about getting those words out of me and telling a story.
In the end, NaNoWriMo is all about telling a story of a certain length within a certain time. There’s nothing saying that it has to be GOOD. No, no. I didn’t sign up for that!
What’s the best part of NaNoWriMo so far this year?
THAT I AM WRITING!
I haven’t written anything of substance in well over a year. I haven’t had a daily routine of writing, I haven’t taken it seriously at all – you know, that whole thing about how I want to be a writer more than anything thing.
Because I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been writing anything.
Now, I am excited to come to the computer every morning and start churning out my words. I’m proud and thrilled at the end of each day to see my word count climbing – and climbing above most of my NaNo writer buddies, too.
I’m proud of myself.
I’m delighted that it’s November and NaNoWriMo time again.
This coming week is all about keeping up the momentum and writing every day – I want my word count to stay consistently above where it should be each day, and by the end of next week I want to hit 25K words.
Is anyone else doing NaNoWriMo? How are you doing so far?
Here we are again, the amazing month of November! The month of writing all the things!
I love this month of writing, even though sometimes it brings me anxiety, it also always brings me a very special sense of human and writerly connection, it brings me words and ideas and inspiration, it brings me satisfaction and joy, and sometimes it even brings me a complete (ish) novel!
First of all, I’m participating in NaNoWriMo again.
National Novel Writing Month is a thing for me now – I feel like I have to participate, even if I only make it through a few days.
Unfortunately last year I think I only made it through eight or ten days, and only about 8,000 or so words written until I failed and gave up.
Why did I give up? Because of a serious self confidence issue. I felt like my idea was too big to capture in a little NaNoWriMo story. I felt like it was too good and too big to “waste” by trying to get through it in one month of writing with no plot like it was no problem. I made it a problem, and then I made it not be a problem, and I call that failing when it comes to NaNoWriMo.
So here’s where I’ll be honest – though I did sign up and intend to start writing today, I woke up this morning having NO IDEA what I was going to write. Not a single clue. None.
Sure, I had a few ideas about what I wanted to write, but I have no outline, rough or otherwise, and no clear ideas on who my main characters will be or what they will do other than probably face horrible things and have untimely deaths, but that’s okay, because I fancy myself a horror writer.
Wish me luck. I will need it.
In addition to (hopefully) writing a novel this month, I am also once again participating in a slight variation of National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) which my blog buddies have dubbed: Nano Poblano.
What’s the difference between NaBloPoMo, posting to your blog every day in November, and Nano Poblano?
Not much, I don’t think! Except with Nano Poblano, I am part of Team Pepper – I get to post every day of the month WITH LIKEMINDED FRIENDS.
And hopefully when the thirty days are over I will have more new friends to share things with. Really, being a Pepper is about being part of a blogging community, and that’s why I’m here blogging in the first place.
Considering I’ve blogged every day so far this year already, I don’t think this will be that hard of a challenge – certainly not as hard as getting at least 1,667 words of a novel written each day, but it will still take special dedication and planning to get all the posts ready for their linkups.
I really wasn’t going to sign myself up for something I could potentially fail at – that’s not something that I ever want to do, really, but then I went to yeahwrite’s website today after avoiding it for weeks, and saw what the NoMo challenge is all about.
Let’s say, it spoke to me:
“… a 30 day challenge designed to help you build your writing practice by getting your butt in the chair and your fingers on the keyboard daily. It’s that simple and that hard.
Welcome to NoMo at yeah write 2015! NoMo excuses. NoMo wishing you could just get started. NoMo shortening of words to make a cute little name for month-long writing (okay, maybe just this last one).”
That is EXACTLY what I need.
NO MORE EXCUSES
NO MORE WISHES
I’m going to use this challenge as “break time” from my NaNoWriMo novel and my goal is to enter at least one if not both fiction challenges per week for the month, and we shall see what else comes of it. As always, it’s amazing to be part of the yeahwrite community, and if you haven’t taken part in one of their writing challenges yet, now is as good a time as any to start.
Going over this post, I realize that probably the hardest thing about this month is going to be keeping up with all of the other great writer’s and blogger’s posts and being a good community member. I am going to try to read, like, and comment on as many posts as I can this month, but please remember – my words must come first, as I’m sure yours must also.
Good luck to all the Mo’s out there this month, and now let’s take November by the balls and WRITE!
You’d think that a person who was so fed up with herself over being a lump on the couch and watching too much TV and being unproductive for a year would TOTALLY rock NaNoWriMo and use it as a reason/excuse/motivation to finally get butt in chair and start writing again.
Such is not the case.
I’m so angry. So angry with myself. So angry that I never finished all the great things I started, so angry that I have wasted so much of my life. So angry that forcing myself to sit in front of the blank page for an hour a day just isn’t getting the results like I want it to.
Nicole Blackman, one of my favorite poets, said best, repeatedly:
“You must change your life. You are never ready.”
I have like eight different things that I want to work on writing. None of them are this “great” NaNoWriMo idea I came up with on the 2nd of November because I thought it would be “easy.”
Herpaderpa, Cheney. Is it ever easy?
Forgoing NaNoWriMo? I never thought it would come to this.
I used to look forward to NaNoWriMo every year because I always knew that I could do it, and I did it again and again. I was a finisher. No matter how much the MS sucked, I was a finisher! I looked forward to the feelings of satisfaction and success.
But this year? It’s one of those things, like, don’t expect much, aim low, so you aren’t as disappointed.
I don’t think I could take getting toward the end of the month and failing. I don’t think I can get close but no cigar, here.
I already feel pretty crushed, I don’t think I can take squashed.
But it’s okay, right? Cause that’s what I am going to tell myself. That it’s okay to give up on something if you are going to commit yourself to latching on to something else? It’s what I am trying to tell myself.
I have all of these goals … mostly they involve quitting certain things to make me a better, more productive person.
It’s not going well.
But the stress of NaNoWriMo? The stress of “OH MY GOD I HAVE TO WRITE TODAY I HAVE TO GET SOME WORDS ON PAPER TODAY OR I AM GOING TO FAAAAAAIIILLLL”
The anxiety in me is already too much. Why am I doing this to myself?
Because I still think, stupidly, that there is actually still someone out there that I need to IMPRESS.
HA! What a joke.
Maybe next year, NaNoWriMo. For now, I am going to try to keep just a little bit of the sanity I have left.