Crappity Craptastic Crap

CheneyI'm Writing a Book4 Comments

I have been reading like crazy lately. I’ve finished another two books that need reviewing, two books that I am actually really excited about reviewing because they were just so great and I had been anticipating both of them being released, but I haven’t done them yet because I’ve also been re-reading one of the books I wrote. Yeah. One of the books I wrote.

A week ago today I handed a stack of pages over to my friend Chana – she was to be the first beta reader for the novel I wrote about a year and a half ago just for the hell of it. I’ve finished NaNoWriMo three times, but this one, the one I gave to Chana that at the moment is titled The Eternals, I wrote for the hell of it. I got an idea in April and I ran with it until I was finished, some 65,000 words later.

When I was finished writing The Eternals I was exhilarated. It was the first time that I’d started and finished a complete novel outside of NaNo, and the entire time I was working on it I was pretty much doing it to test myself. Can I do this without a quarter million other people at my back? Can I do this based on my own arbitrary goals? Well, heck yeah I can. Only thing is, it seemed to me that the novel was crap. Complete crap. Crappity craptastic crap. So I let it languish there, printed out and sitting in a yellow folder at the top of my bookshelf for a year and a half, before I realized, this is stupid. I have an entire novel just sitting there, and I am not doing anything with it. I’m not getting feedback, I’m not editing, I’m not working on a second draft – mostly because once I finished it and read through it again I thought parts of it were terrible. Parts of it are great – I know that – I know that at the base level the story is sound, but so much of it is utter crap.

It’s just a first draft, though. There is plenty of time and words left for things to change.

So I gave the draft to Chana a week ago in the hopes that she would read it and give me feedback – real feedback – something I haven’t really ever gotten because I haven’t ever gone looking for it, not as far as longer works are concerned. Now, I am about to meet her in a half hour to talk about it for the first time since giving it to her, and I am half excited and half sick with terror that she’s going to tell me it’s unsalvageable.

But, alas. Since I handed her that folder a week ago, I’ve done nothing but think about The Eternals. Where can I go from here, where didn’t I go the first time, what new directions can I take the story in. I have a world of possibilities open ahead of me and all I have to do is sit down and get to typing.

And so that’s why I haven’t reviewed those two books yet. Because finally, again, I’m working on one of my own.

4 Comments on “Crappity Craptastic Crap”

  1. That’s great that you are so excited about a project and you are getting real feedback. That’s always exciting and a little scary.
    I take part in a critique group, and in fact we are meeting tonight. My writing has grown so much from that.
    I’ve done NaNoWriMo in the past, but I’m not sure I’ll do it this year because I don’t want to screw up the progress I’m having with my WIP.

  2. That’s great that you are so excited about a project and you are getting real feedback. That’s always exciting and a little scary.

    I take part in a critique group, and in fact we are meeting tonight. My writing has grown so much from that.

    I’ve done NaNoWriMo in the past, but I’m not sure I’ll do it this year because I don’t want to screw up the progress I’m having with my WIP.

    1. Oh, I am fully prepared to drop my WIP for NaNoWriMo. I think that is the essence of the project, to put aside everything else in life (well, almost everything else) and focus on the task of writing a first draft in a month.

      Thanks for commenting, by the way. I enjoyed your blog as well. Perhaps I can coax you into joining the NaNo fun this year!

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