Despite yesterday’s post, I actually really love Christmas and I’m looking forward to it. I’ve never been one of those people who say “Oh man, I can’t wait for the holidays to be over,” because I do the best I can to not let anything about the holidays stress me out.
With that said, there is a different sort of stress this year in that I have been MAKING rather than buying a lot of Christmas gifts. Five people are getting crocheted scarves, and for my grandparents I am making a blog that features Elise’s and my day to day activities. I am so bad at calling them frequently and sending them pictures, I don’t know why I didn’t think of a grandparent-centric blog sooner, but there it is. I don’t want them reading this one, so we will just direct their attention elsewhere. Unfortunately, I haven’t started that little project yet and I still have a scarf to finish, not to mention gift wrapping for things I got Elise, AND I have to make her birthday cake tonight for the little party that a friend of ours is hosting at her house tomorrow.
Long story short, I haven’t done any writing this month. Like, none. And THAT is what is stressing me out. I love Christmas, I love the holiday season, but dare I say I can’t wait for some time to do what I want to do without a million other little projects to finish and errands to run that keep me away from writing.
It’s sort of the feeling I get leading up to taking vacations – a giddy excitement of possiblility. Too bad I know that the week after vacations always suck, but I guess I will cross that bridge.
Now, what to focus on, is the question I’ve been asking myself. Here are the possibilities:
- I could always write more smut – my stories continue to sell, slowly but surely, and there’s nothing but laziness keeping me from adding titles and hopefully getting more steady revenue from them. This might be the first thing I tackle.
- I’ve been contemplating going back to my NaNo novel that I didn’t finish this year and seeing what I can salvage from it.
- I’ve also been thinking of diving back in to my Eternals story and totally re-working the first draft. The thing is FINISHED, you know? It’s an entire finished book. It just sort of sucks and the whole middle part of it is boring as hell, in my opinion, but with a whole lot of elbow grease and maybe some tough love, I can make it into something that I will be proud to show people, which unfortunately, at this moment, I am not.
- The zombies, they call to me. This is the story I gave Dan months ago and never finished, although I have pecked away at another chapter in the interim since the last time I gave him pages. This is sort of what I want to do the most, even though I probably SHOULD do the other things first.
- Start something new? Always such a lovely idea…
I’m sure this list and post it totally boring to all non-writerly types, but hey. It’s what I do.
I could, of course, entertain you with stories about my adventure out to some downtown bars last night and what kept me out until three in the morning, but that just might disturb you instead of bore you, and I’ll either lose friends or gain the “wrong” ones.
Needless to say, I go through phases of wanting to go out with friends and wanting to hole myself up in my room and pretend to disappear, and lately I’ve chosen the former. It could be that we’ve had such a mild winter so far, I haven’t felt that darkness of the SAD coming over me, depressing me into myself and away from all fun that might be had. But, the thing is, I like laughing, and my friends are funnier than most (in my opinion) and once in a while it’s nice to spend $20 bucks on vodka drinks, get a little shitty, and have myself a time.