Lessons Learned

CheneyRants13 Comments

I made a mistake.

Last night I told Elise that after the clock on the stove said 9:00 – like when it was 9:01 or 9:15, she could come wake me up, at which point, after making coffee, she could learn how to log in and use the computer on her own.

Well, this is how I woke up this morning.

I was sleeping peacefully, and then I was being attacked.

I didn’t hear her coming, I just suddenly felt myself being pummeled on the side and back by her excited little slaps, SCREAMING


I made a terrible mistake.

Elise is the kind of kid who needs all the details. I didn’t give her all the details. Or, maybe I wasn’t thinking that it was just a terrible idea to begin with to INVITE HER TO WAKE ME UP, because I am generally startled upon awakening, so I like my alarm to be a quiet, repetitive and low tone, something unoffensive.

We both woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

My entire day has been like this:

IMG_5460And I have a cut on my middle finger that I think might be getting slightly infected. It was KILLING me tonight at work when I was cleaning some things with some bleach.

Pro tip: don’t dip your uncovered open wound into bucket of bleach water.

Oddly enough though, I actually LOVE the smell of bleach. It’s probably one of my favorite scents, right up there with gasoline and day old, just laid pavement. Even though I’ve washed my hands twice since I left work, they still smell bleachey. I think I used too much.

Anyway, this damn cut on my finger better not turn into something stupid like cellulitis or gangrene because I’m gonna be pretty pissed if I permanently lose the ability to flip people off with both hands at the same time.

13 Comments on “Lessons Learned”

  1. 1) Ha! Love that kid!
    2) Ouch!
    3) What is wrong with you? (Bleach kills!) I can’t stand the smell of bleach. It makes me really sick. I can’t be in the same room for very long. This turns out to be a win for me because my husband now cleans the bathrooms! 😀

  2. I would hate to not have the ability to flip the bird. It’s a very important skill lol. Hope your finger heals up.

    1. Yeah, there are people who totally agree with me and people who look at me with these horrified expressions on their faces like they can’t believe how crazy I am.

      Woohoo, Comerade!

      1. Demeter Fragrances, which are crazy expensive but have scents like “vanilla”, “orange”, “fresh crayons” and “bourbon” had diesel once upon a time. I think they may still have it online, but again, kinda pricey.

        1. I’ll look it up. I remember there was a website that sold a very overpriced bottle of scented old book… I sense a blog post coming on..

  3. I have Hello Kitty bandaids too! I love giving them to big, tough guys at work when they cut their widdle finga and come crying to me for first aid. I know it must go over well in the kitchen. 🙂

    1. LOL. Yeah I pretty much only have little kid bandaids. I’m allergic to adhesives so kiddie bandaids are pretty much the only sticky thing in the world that doesn’t lay waste to my skin.

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