RSVP. That’s not a post title, it’s an order!

CheneyParenting, Rants1 Comment

Elise’s birthday party was supposed to be on Saturday, but I decided to postpone it on Thursday morning because of the impending snow, and the fact that out of the 26 children I invited, only 7 of their mothers had responded by the requested RSVP date – three yesses, and four nos.

I have been appalled by this since a few days after I sent the invitations out and hadn’t gotten a RSVP yet.

I made sure the invitations went home in the children’s daily school folder which parents are sort of required to look in every night.

Now, I’m not saying that everyone should have IMMEDIATELY responded, but one RSVP in the first week seemed like a bad sign to me, and it only got worse.

Then came Wednesday. The forecast was grim. On Wednesday it said we were to get 6-8 inches of snow beginning Saturday afternoon. The fact that I only had a handful of kids who I knew for sure were coming and thinking there’s a great chance that some of them wouldn’t come because of the weather, I decided postponing the party was the best thing to do.

Elise took it like a champ. I explained to her why postponing it was the smartest choice and she understood, and we called the pool and the bakery together to reschedule the party.

I sent a stack of printed anti-invitations to bring to school with her Friday morning, and felt good about the decision.

Then, at work Thursday night, Elise’s BFF in class, “Zee”, came in to The Restaurant with her parents and sister, and I went over to their table when I had a chance and thanked Zee’s mom for RSVPing to me, and then I told her:

“I couldn’t believe it, I invited 26 kids and only 3 responded to say they were coming. I only got 7 RSVPs as it is!”

Zee’s mom rolled her eyes and nodded in understanding.

“That’s the way it goes,” she says. “People are ridiculous. They will wait until the last minute, until they are sure they have nothing better to do with their time, before they RSVP. People can’t make commitments anymore. You’ll get calls Saturday morning asking if it’s still okay to come. AND I bet you will have people just show up without RSVPing and act like it’s no big deal. One time, at one of Zee’s parties, I had a mother bring one of Zee’s friend’s from class AND her little sister, and she waited until she was right in front of my face to ask me whether it was okay if the sibling joined the party.”

I gaped at her.


Zee’s mom nodded.


She nodded some more, that knowing, sorry smile.

Well, what do you know? Those anti-invitations went home in the folders on Friday, and Saturday morning, bright and early, I started getting texts and phone calls, from five different mom’s all told, asking if their child could still come to the party. I explained, smugly, to each one of them that a note had gone home in their child’s folder about the party being postponed until March. Feeling, for once, like a superior mom, for being one who religiously checks the folder.


Now it’s Sunday and the storm that was promised Saturday has finally started spitting ice on us.

I postponed the party for nothing, because if I had gone on with it I know all of her best friends definitely would have come.

New invitations will go out now, in a few weeks, because after this first go round I certainly don’t expect anyone to show up without reminding them a time or two before the next big day.

And next year, we’re having her birthday party in June.

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