I’m not really a big fan of Thanksgiving.
I guess I used to be, when I was a kid. Back then my grandparents still lived here, my great-grandmother (Nana) was still alive, my aunt and uncle and cousin Matt who was my age always came to visit or we would all go up to Vermont to celebrate Thanksgiving with them.
But, things change. My grandparents retired to Florida, my mom became estranged from her sister and then they moved to Colorado, my dad became estranged from his family and we never see them anymore..
So now it’s just me, Elise, my sister, and my parents. And half the time Elise isn’t even there because she spends half the day with her dad.
It’s not very celebratory. It doesn’t feel like a holiday. Sometimes, to me, it feels kind of sad.
The fact that I don’t really care for turkey, that I think that it tastes like chicken that’s gone a little bad, adds insult to injury.
Also, the first snow fell last night into today.
It’s not much. It’s what some would call “a dusting” of snow. But it’s enough to make the roads slippery and drivers stupid, and enough to darken my mood enough to bring me tears practically the moment Elise went to bed.
I’m just not ready for winter and the cold and darkness it brings, outdoors and in my mind and heart.
I hate winter.
I loathe winter.
I will probably lose blog followers because of how much I will complain about winter.
But I am thankful for some things today.