“I keep turning over new leaves, and spoiling them, as I used to spoil my copybooks; and I make so many beginnings there never will be an end. (Jo March)” Louisa May Alcott, Little Women
Yesterday I asked a friend whether she wanted to do NaNoWriMo with me this year and she said yes, so I suppose that means I actually have to commit to doing it as well, which I wasn’t necessarily planning on doing this year, even though I’ve done it for the past, oh, seven years in a row. It’s just that I haven’t been writing all year, I haven’t blogged all year, I’ve given everything up .. and for what? For too late nights reading so many books I forget what they all are, and binge watching so many television shows I’m just embarrassed to talk about it.
I want to write a book this year. I want to have already written two books. I want to get out of whatever this horrible funk is that I am in and get on with my life as I had been planning it for so long. You know, DO the things that I keep saying I am going to do one day.
It’s gotta start someday, so. Hello, October.
I just celebrated my 32nd birthday.
Elise is in third grade now and doing better than she ever has in school, I am so proud of her. I would like to say she is growing like a weed but that is only metaphorically true because she isn’t growing much at all lately, she is actually the shortest kid in her grade as far as I know, my little shorty whose pediatrician has already speculated that Elise won’t reach five feet tall. Her vertical struggle is real, but man is she cute, and so very often now such a good girl that I am so lucky to have.
I’m waitressing now, slinging burgers and fries and eggs and pancakes at a little diner(ish) restaurant that’s right down the street from our little piece of trailer park heaven. We’re doing okay. I’m still not that great at keeping the house clean.
Basically I want NEED to start writing again and just didn’t have any place to do it. So here we are, beginning again.
Tomorrow I’m working in the morning instead of the night shift, something that is not normal for me. I really WANT to be on days so that I can work while Elise is in school and don’t have to give up so much time with her while I am working, but someone has to quit, be fired, or die for me to be able to move up to mornings at the restaurant, so I am trying to be patient for that to happen and I’m grateful when days like tomorrow come along.
Off to bed with me now, like a good, responsible adult. Mmmhmm.